I need to...

1) Update my blog more often
2) Stop being so scared to take a leap of faith (will explain more later)
3) Go to church more...
4) Stop worrying about other people
5) stop whining about whining...and do something about my life

1)
a. I started a blog just so I could let everyone know what goes in my life. Obviously it's not that important or interesting cause I never update it. Most people would think that it's really busy and that's why I don't update it. Quite the opposite.

2)
a. I am always scared to get out and meet new people, scared of what they will think of me. I am super paranoid and live off acceptance way more than I should.
b. I need to tell a few people how I really feel. It sucks holding feelings in and for most of you who know me, I usually do not ever do that. It's in my list of "do not's".
c. I really need to find a career. Not just a job...don't get me wrong, I love my job. The women I work with are great and such a blessing to me and my walk with Christ, but I need something with benefits and some kind of retirement plan. I do want to retire one day.

3)
a. I've been invited to 2 different churches and have not gone from fear of rejection. Seems like all the churches I have been to in the past 10 years have done just that. Rejected me. More now than ever since I have Brianna as a single mom, never married.
b. That goes back to the scared to meet new people subject. I really am. I have a great singing voice, play guitar and have a lot to offer. I just can't get up enough courage to get out there.

4)
a. I worry too much about what others think, but mostly what they are doing. I know someone who was very involved in my life and I still keep up with them even though they are not in my life anymore. I feel like a stalker but at the same time, I have not come to accept that they are not around anymore. sucks.

5)
a. Doing something with my life as far as occupation, Brianna and losing weight. I have lost 11 lbs in the past 2 weeks. I get in the depressed moods and feel like I have no friends and I eat chocolate. I love Chocolate!!!! I have no one to look good for. That would make all the difference in the world. But at the same time, I will never find someone to look good for, if I don't look good to start with. I proved that last week when I met this guy online and invited him to come to the salon to meet me and get a haircut. I never heard from him again. JERK! Anyway...I have did some self evals and nothing negative on my part has surfaced. I am tired of being tired.

Spreaking of tired...I took some Tylenol PM and I am sleepy. Maybe I can jot a little more in this and whatnot...later.

hugs and just hugs....
Lee