No words

I said no words, but I really have plenty. I have had a hard time emotionally these past few months. Being decieved, lied to, and unloved. Seriously. I am left out of all the fun half of the time, no one calls me unless they need me, and I come a runnin! I don't know what to do anymore honestly. I have a select few that think I am fun and come around when they can. The others use me. The good Lord knows I would love to move away and start over somewhere, but I know I can't keep running from my problems. I have to face my life at some point and start living for ME! I try to stop my heart from giving so much, but it's absolutely impossible. I chose to be run over time and time again. I am in a rut, and I don't know how to get out!!!! I sit and cry from being so lonely. I had prayed God would send me someone. Time and time again, here I am crying with no Mom, no partner, noone to call on when I need them. It's understandable that everyone has their lives and I do NOT wanna be the one to interrupt. It just doesn't seem fair. Yeah call it a pity party, but you would feel the same way. I will be 28 this month and have yet to marry. Now, don't get me wrong! I would rather marry once later and for forever than sooner 5 times. I wish I could find someone to love me. *sigh* Even for a moment, it would be nice. Someone to look at me like I was the most beautiful of all of God's creations. Then, I would call him mine! I am tired. Just really tired......